You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
