So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
