that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
