You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
only if we run a train.
done.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
