I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
