i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
