went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We left an ass print on the piano.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You made out with two different species that night
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
