capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
