the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
