all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
