There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
