I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
