you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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