You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
