I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
