Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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