Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
