How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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