she woke up with a sticky ear
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
