he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
