Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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