38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
