so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
