Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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