I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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