If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You have to summon your inner elephant
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
