I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
