Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
