Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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