No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I love you.
Bad choice
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