You're so nebulous sometimes
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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