Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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