i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm both gender and math confused
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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