My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
