So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
