I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
