I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
