Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The feeling are messing with the penis
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
