forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
