so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
