My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
