i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
