Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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