I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
