I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
