One girl and one boy is just not enough.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
