I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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