i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
