the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
