i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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