Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
