Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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